Yes the image links to more such pics you filthy addicts
“You know what’s funny on the internet my Lady?”
“Those kittens that do weird things and speak lik theez? They are so adorable. Or did you mean that dog who howls? It’s just so awesome Lord Akoroth. Or is it the woman who hates Asians? That was like so funny my Lord I nearly died. Or do you mean meekaki-”
“Err…Yeah…this is not going to work out. Guards! Guards!”
*Feet-a-marching, much-a-dragging, some-a-wailing later*
*Some time later than the previous later*
“Ah Record Keeper there you are…”
“My Lord Akoroth…the trapdoor is supposed to be invisible from the outside.”
“Meh, I threatened a guard and he squealed like the rat he is. You know what’s funny on the internet?”
“No”
“Perfect!”
“Excuse me?”
“Never mind. Anyway what’s funny is how often hot women are sluts, especially on the internet. Let me tell you the entire story…”
“Good god…”
“It s a short story…”
“That’s what they all say my Lord…”
“Listen no! So today the first promos for ‘Dirty Picture’ came out…you know the movie? It’s got Vidya Balan. She is so, so, so hot…”
Hotness level: EPIC
“Yes my Lord. You have wallpapered the entire front of the Castle with the posters so I am aware of the movie. The entire court is. Actually even people on distant hilltops are aware of it.”
“That was a good wallpapering job. So anyhoo, I was in court today and I passed these two minions looking at her picture on a website. I heard them mutter ‘Just look at that slut….’. Now gentleman’s honour indicated that I defend her honour…”
“But….”
“But they were big minions and I am a mere Lord so I moved along…”
“Gallant of you my Lord…”
“Shut it heathen. So I come back thatawayz about fifteen minutes later right, and I noticed that the same two minions were STILL staring at her. This time I caught more of the conversation…”
“This was supposed to be a short story I believe…”
“I am improvising; deal with it. They were saying ‘She is such a slut man, because of women like her only our culture is going. Look at her in that saree, is that how a saree is supposed to be worn? Look at that blouse. Is that how tight a blouse is supposed to be? Look at her hips…”
“Err…lets move on shall we my Lord? My Lord?…”
“…what? Sorry I was having a flashback. Anywhore, I mean…err…anyway she was apparently SO offensive to their morals, such a big slut, that they were welded to the screen for like half an hour. I mean how ‘shocked’ do you need to be by the ‘slut’ before you are willing to move on?”
“My Lord if there was even a remote chance that they could actually have Vidya Balan they would be banging her like a piece of antler on a shinbone. But they cannot have her. They never will have her. Ever.”
“So?”
“So by common consensus it is agreed that when we can’t get something then obviously something must be SO wrong with that thing that we are too good for it. The very idea that we may be lacking in the required qualifications for it is just ludicrous and unthinkable. Therefore, Vidya is a slut. Obviously.”
“She is a beautiful successful actor who is paid millions of rupees for her films, drives around in Merc for all I know, hob-nobs with the who’s who of the who’s who and is loved and desired by millions. And she is a slut?”
“Yes”
“And these minions who routinely pay good money for a mere glance of Vidya on an artificial screen, masturbate furiously thinking of her late into the night and are permanently offended and outraged by her and all of her kind are the morally upright good folks?”
“They think so.”
“You know what?”
“Oh yes I do my Lord, but I will let you say it for traditon’s sake.”
“I really, really want to be a slut!”
“And that’s the perfect cue to end this happy conversation. Good day my Lord.”
*Creak* *Thud* *Click*
“Wait! How does this trapdoor open heathen? Hello? Hello!”
