So the trailer of ‘Ishkq in Paris’ is out, with all of its extra K glory.
And…er…well…have a look yourself.
Why does a 37-year-old Zinta apparently still feel the need to act like a 25-year-old?
Why Preity? You are better than this. I know you are.
*sob*
A n y w a y…
Feelings are summed up rather well by the YouTube user garyseth1982, in his top voted comment -
“Jab trailer itna bura hai to movie kitne buri hogi?”
(When the trailer is this bad, how bad is the film going to be?)
Those are true words spoken by a clairvoyant.
Ah Paris. City of Light and Love! Prepare to be desecrated…
The trailer tells us absolutely nothing about the film. It appears to be the story of two sluts who meet each other. In Paris. Then they do stuff during the night. And during the day. And they run around a lot.
(You can probably guess the rest of the hackneyed plot, but the makers of the film are hoping you will go to a theatre to see it)
Heck, you could even take the specific parts of the trailer and they make no sense.
The first lines spoken by the main characters –
Oh, I am naughty little sex maniac. Ignore my dimples! I am I tell you!
Preity: “(normal voice) I love guys who are bang on…(suddenly throaty) and don’t waste any time…”
Hero: “Never get married. This is why I never take the matter longer than one night.”
Oh look. They are those ‘modern’ Indians who go to the phoren and then have the open sex with the everybody and all.
How modern of them! This is cutting edge film I say.
*Swoon*
Oh come on. This is Preity Zinta. She couldn’t be seductive if she was on cocaine. She wasn’t seductive when she was 25. Why is she even trying?
And then we have the hero. He looks like he wouldn’t last five minutes, never mind an entire night.
Look at him eye-fucking the camera. Tell me…What Paris lady wouldn’t want to DO this? Is this not their dream come alive? Half-sweater and all?
In the city most famed for romance – Paris, among the people most famous for looks and love – France, we are expected to believe this boy is a major ‘player’? When did the French fall so low?
Is there some unwritten film law that says if you make a film about Indians living abroad, they are to be sex maniacs?
What is with the Eiffel tower?
I get it. I get it. La Paris. The tower. Ooooooooh. I am thrilled. When can we all get over it?
There are about six shots of the tower in this 120-second trailer. That’s one shot of that tower every twenty seconds.
It’s like someone made a film set in Delhi and shot the entire movie within ten feet of the India Gate. Possible, but does not bode well for any possibility of this being anything other than a cliché ridden hell of a film.
Why is fucking his own name?
Him: Look I will draw my name in the air, because that will make the screwing I am giving it more realistic. Her: Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I love how the two idiots meet, a.k.a the introductions.
“a-Cash” he blurts out with all the class of a man who has been to America once for a one month tour, but kept the accent for life.
“Excuse me?” she says in her fake-st ‘I am so confused’ voice.
“a-Cash. With an A”
Hey man-whore, I get it, that’s probably the way foreigners say your name. But you are OBVIOUSLY speaking to an Indian. Why are you mispronouncing your name to her?
Are you presuming she won’t know how to say it? Or do you actually NOT KNOW how to say your OWN name? (It’s Aa-kaa-shh FYI)
Not that she does any better though. She spells out her name to him -
“I-S-H-K-Q – Ishq”.
No madam. ‘I-S-H-K-Q’ is Ish-k-k since the Q also has a K sound. If you are going to pronounce your name as Ishq, with no hint of the K, why are you spelling it like a retard?
Numerology ah?
*face palm*
And that’s not even where the real weirdness even is. Because that whole ‘fucking his own name’ business? That’s a one-shot thing apparently.
For the rest of the trailer, and presumably the rest of the film, he speaks perfect Hindi, and his English takes on a very Indian accent.
Then why were you fucking your own name, three frames ago?
Why?
The soundtrack is…dhin-chik, dhin-chik -
Considering the amount of glitter in that font, this is going to be one hell of an unlikely encounter. For Paris anyway.
Paris is either the city of soft, stringed instruments like the violin, or the city of extremely loud orchestra’s, like the ones played in the Moulin Rouge.
A dhin-chik-dhin-chik ‘funky’ beat with a slutty voice panting “oui, oui, oui, le Pari” is not telling me I am in the city of Love.
It’s telling me I am in Sonagachi, the famed red-light area of Kolkata.
Get your themes right.
The only hope for this film -
Unspeakable things were done to me to force me to be in this film. One day this lady beside me will pay for all she hath done. That is why I have this expression!
In the end of the trailer, these lines come over –
“You watch a lot of Yash Chopra Films don’t you?”
“And you? Kill bill?”
“Shut up”
What is that line telling us? It is in the trailer so it was somewhat important.
Is this man-whore of the one-night stands a ‘romantic’ like all the heroes in Yash Chopra films?
(Is that is what they are aiming for, has anyone involved in the making of this film ever seen a Yash Chopra film?)
What I am really hoping is that it means Priety is a psychotic killer in the film (As hinted to earlier in the trailer) and she goes on a murderous rampage with a samurai sword to avenge the death of her lover and unborn child, brutally slicing down all in her path and bathing in their blood.
Now that would save this movie.
Hey! stranger things have happened and hope is eternal.
The last frame –
I love how one of the last frames tells us…
Paris ah? Really? The city with the tower ah?
I am glad that was clarified. I thought I was meant meet the film in Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh.
Things People Had To Say
Such a horrible review.You really need to stop reviewing things.
I think someone paid you a handsome amount to write all this crap.
@V: disgraced people write such reviews.
[...] a side note, I received a whole two comments telling me that my review of the trailer of the film was obviously a paid feature intended to malign the greatness that is Preity [...]