2013 has been a mixed year for Akshay Kumar.
(It was known as Once upon A time… before they changed it to AY time… by which time the public presumably decided there were better things to do with ITS time than watch this film.)
Although logically the film flopped because a) it was horrible and b) it was playing against Chennai Express, my personal guess is that it flopped because by the time someone finished the sentence – “Chalo, let’s watch once upon AY time in Mumbai Dobaara…”
…some one else had already finished saying “Let’s watch Chennai Express” and bought the tickets also.
So this is round three in 2013 for Akshay. Considering his extremely mixed career – it could honestly go either way.
While the official trailer will launch at 12 pm August 27, we can make a few early judgments based on the teaser trailer.
Alright so the trailer begins with someone wearing a set of ‘B’ ‘O’ ‘S’ ‘S’ rings punching someone.
Okay then. So this going to be a movie where the action will make no sense, the plot even less sense, but will definitely have quite a few silly dialogues and a lot of cool moments. (And the film is most likely stolen from the idly-dosa land.)
Then the extremely generic ‘ayk-shun muziks’ begins.
You know the type.
They have three beats that repeat with enough drums and base to deafen an entire band. And the name of the hero is replayed endlessly in a ‘cool’ voice.
Been there, heard that.
Then we have the entry of the ‘hero’ -
All right then.
Akshay looks…well he looks Akshay – ish I guess.
It’s Akshay Kumar glaring at some one with his hair slicked back. He is wearing two shirts – one soft, pastel yellow underneath and one soft, pastel blue over it - and has no expression on his face what-so-ever.
There is really no way of describing it. I guess someone told him he supposed to be a cold tough guy in this one, as opposed to his usual run of the jolly tough guy – think Rowdy Rathore or Tees Maar Khan.
And this was the best take they could get Akshay to give. Let us move on. (thankfully)
The rest of the trailer is pretty generic. And to be fair it is only a teaser.
We will obviously see more once the main trailer is out. For now all we have a stunt double doing the usual over-the-top South Indian stunts that Bollywood just does now.
There is one good scene though – a crazy looking Akshay is deeply impressed by his own ability to apparently twist a human body in to shapes god never intended. I am pretty sure that villain is out for good after this treatment. But it’s a hilarious shot none-the-less.
Incidentally, where did this movie come from anyway?
Nowadays most Bollywood films are remakes of some South Indian film. Now it can be called remaking or inspired or copying.
But what it really is, is pillaging.
If the mafia in RGV’s Sarkar was ‘inspired’ by The Godfather, then most of the makers of films of this type, the minute they reach South India, are perhaps taking their lessons from the late Phoolan Devi.
It was nice the first few times when a story was remade in Hindi.
But honestly, if by now Bollywood cannot create it’s own original masala films – a genre whose hallmark is a lack of brains or logic – then Bollywood needs to go sit in a corner and be ashamed.
Anyway, so where is this one stolen from?
The film also stars Prithviraj (That guy for whom Rani Mukherjee was having all those navel-exposing, hip-thrusting dream-ums)
Now the Malayalam film is the second highest grossing Malayalam film of all time. So those are some pretty big boots to fill.
The plot is….errr….here, let me try to sum it up.
A boy takes the blame for a murder his father commits. He then goes to jail and then to exile for a few decades. In exile he becomes a big don called ‘Pokkiri Raja’.
Later his younger brother falls into some love-related trouble and ‘Pokiri Raja’ is sent to supari-kill the younger brother by the father of the girl the younger brother loves.
What happens next is the plot.
(All the best)
Incidentally, if I watch the Malayalam film, I will do so ONLY to find out the reason for that giant, unending, geometrically aligned line of white Toyota Innovas I saw in the trailer.
I mean how much money is Toyota investing in Kerala anyway?
But back to our film ‘Boss’ here.
Oddly, the trailer proudly and loudly declares that this film was directed by one Anthony D’Souza.
If you are confused about who the hell this guy is, don’t worry – you weren’t the only one.
Now while the janta definitely knows Mithun da and Danny, in case you are unclear about Shiv – he is one of the guys from that awesome film ‘Shaitan‘.
But all of this is ignored to tell us that Anthony what-ever-his-name is directing the film?
Quick! Somebody tell me who this legend is!
(One quick Google search later…)
The director of Blue!? That guy?! That film?!
The film that was so bad, if we ever made a list of Indian crimes against humanity, that film will surely be added in that list.
Now I try not to be judgmental, every one makes mistakes and all. But if I was the director of that film, I would put Akshay Kumar’s name front and center and sneak my name in somewhere quietly, like after the credits or something, when most of the janta has left the theater.
But hey, who knows, may be Anthony Sa’ab is proud of Blue and has great confidence in ‘Boss’.
Well let’s check the full trailer in a while. But the truth will be known only on October 16, when the film releases.
Releasing: October 16